The Silent Partner

Imagine, if you will, that you run your own business.

Your business consists of child-rearing and house-keeping, and you have two clients, one aged four and one aged two, plus one house to keep.

You work 12 hours a day, seven days a week. Your two clients give you random appraisals, which go either way, depending on which way the wind is blowing, but basically, go against you.

Imagine that your business has a silent partner.

He does not have much hand in the day-to-day running of your business, except on weekends. Your silent partner tends to be there in the first hour of the running of your business, and the last half an hour.

The overall success of the business, then, is basically entirely down to you.

Occasionally, your silent partner takes a week off from his other business, and joins you in the running of your business.

His appraisals are glowing. Every morning your two clients head straight to your silent partner to give him his first appraisal of the day – huge cuddles and lots of kisses. You are swiftly dispensed with, because you are only really of any use when it comes to finding breakfast. Your silent partner, meanwhile, gets snuggled to within an inch of his life.

You go on days out. This should be fun! But all day your two clients reject your hand-holding, your cuddles, your very presence.

Back home, you presence is only required for as long as it takes to make dinner, and you are only approached with the words "I'm hungry" and "Where's my dinner?"

It's time to face facts: you may as well not be there.

So you make a decision. The next time your silent partner takes a week off work, you're going to Barbados. By yourself. For the whole damned week.