We have a routine, Little Miss and I, that I love. When it comes to the lunchtime nap, we put The Duke to bed and then snuggle up together in her bed until she falls asleep too. We've been doing it for months now and I relish every minute of it (and it's not unheard of for me to nod off too...) because I know that at some point, her naps will drop off and, well, that'll be the end of that.
But I didn't expect to be dumped.
Two days ago she said: "I don't want you to lie in the bed with me, Mummy."
"Oh! I said..."
"You can stand here," she says, pointing to the side of the bed near her head.
"Stand here?"
"Yeah."
"I don't want to stand here!"
So I slunk off.
And she slept.
The next day she said: "I don't want a snuggle, Mummy."
"Oh," I said. And I trudged downstairs.
Today she announced: "Mummy, I'm putting myself to bed."
And she did. And I went downstairs. Again.
Only this time I felt a chunk of her childhood fall away...and a chunk of grief settled itself in my heart.
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